October 19, 2013
October 5, 2013
Well, what a surprise I had this Saturday afternoon. Who'd have expected the League to methodically strike through so much of my content. The redacted copy is preserved below for future generations of coaches to see and wonder if volunteering is really worth the effort.
You gotta love idioms. These little shortcuts to explaining things are sometimes exactly what the doctor ordered.
Case in point, the subject line: When Push, Comes to Shove.
Case in point, the subject line: When Push, Comes to Shove.
Team
Strikers pushed and shoved their way to a thrilling victory today. The
only thing that didn't reflect our team dominance was the score, 3-1.
(If you're thinking the League has suddenly changed their stance against
reporting scores, think again. I've just learned to cut out the middle
man and send everything straight to you... or, youse, if you're a New
Yawker.)
Back to the pushing and shoving.
Team Strikers played about as clean a game as a team can in period one
and Griffin Paulus made sure of that blasting two goals past their
dumbfounded goalie. (Mr. Paulus? Nice call on buying those steel-toed
Addias shoes.) But, then... then things turned rough. Beau Bacon,
believing the game was going to be a laugher and potential waste of his
valuable time, decided to leave the game about 20 minutes in. Not that I
blame him, at all. I was thinking along the same train of thought at
that moment, wondering why these kids even need a coach. But like I
wrote, things got rough.
Team
14, never learned their actual name and it's taking a lot for me to not
keep referring to them as Team Hooligans, went on a pushing and shoving
spree. I've seen less shoving at the annual Running of the Brides at
the Macy's bridal dress day. Those ladies, who some "luckly" men will
have as wives (for 6 months max is my bet), look like kindly
kindergarten teachers drying the salty tears from a lost child's cheeks.
Luckily,
there are coaches involved in this sport, even if they're only Bob
(presently being sued by both his son and Bob's Furniture for name
infringement) and I. Now, to be SUPER clear, neither I nor Bob
(presently being sued by both his son and Bob's Furniture for name
infringement) encouraged the same level of shoving as our kids received.
I'm
not saying we told them to share hugs and well-wished either. We merely
reminded Team Strikers that they too have arms and they're more than
allowed to guard their personal space.
Well...
apparently, Andy Zheng has A LOT of personal space. A wide arcing
sphere of personal space that doesn't allow for foe OR friend to be
within -as Landon will happily corroborate. Well, maybe not so happily,
or even matter-of-factly. He's still getting the grit out of his teeth
as I type this. I think I saw him swipe at an errant bird at one point.
Like I wrote, he has a wide SPHERE of personal space.
As
I'm sure you all witnessed, once Team Strikers adjusted to the brawling
style of soccer play that used to pervade the beautiful game in the
80's (and mosh pits in the 90's), they looked good, very good. Ryan
"Wild" West may have taking the pushing a little personal too, because
he played about the most aggressive game I've seen from him yet. He
wanted that ball badly, like Hooligan badly. Landon (Not that old guy
Donovan) Lagana had a similar vibe going. If he wasn't racing down one
of those Hoo- (Nope! Gonna control myself -even without the League
watching, there's still the NSA to consider) those Team 14 cherubs, he
was barreling through them in his "personal-space guarding" way. Landon
was actually pretty ticked mid-way on. He said there was a lot of talk
from the other team complaining about them. Being a coach, I told him,
"It's okay. Just ignore them and play your game." Being his dad, I
finished that baloney with, "Well? What are you going to do about it,
son?" I think I made the right choice. Well, until the Mrs. reads this.
While
I was turning a blind eye to of our player approaches, I was riveted by
Kevin "Don't encroach on this" Roach, because clearly this young man is
playing on another level than all of us. When we began the second half,
Kevin lined up -not on our side- but on the opposing side. Stupid me
kept telling him to cross over to where his teammates were not cluing in
to the fact that Kevin's move was brilliant. We'd have a player lurking
in their backfield before they even kicked off! Seriously though, Kevin
busted up several advances and should feel good about his hustle.
Kavin "Dirty" Hari busted a few who-be rapscallions of his own. Kavin has really embraced his role as a fullback in recent games, and seems to enjoy popping the ball down field. So, bring your breakaway his way... he dares you... go ahead and make his day. Tom "not Tommy" & "DeMayo not DeMEEo" DeMeo, did what he's been doing all season. He smiled and played his role. You see, we began Saturday without a goalie. No one wanted to play when I asked. Well that lasted about 3 seconds because Tom smiled and shot his hand up. Demeo is okay-o in my book.
Kavin "Dirty" Hari busted a few who-be rapscallions of his own. Kavin has really embraced his role as a fullback in recent games, and seems to enjoy popping the ball down field. So, bring your breakaway his way... he dares you... go ahead and make his day. Tom "not Tommy" & "DeMayo not DeMEEo" DeMeo, did what he's been doing all season. He smiled and played his role. You see, we began Saturday without a goalie. No one wanted to play when I asked. Well that lasted about 3 seconds because Tom smiled and shot his hand up. Demeo is okay-o in my book.
Speaking
of okay, as in the O K corral, it was impossible to miss Andrew
"Electric" Maglio and that because he was involved in pretty much every
play with his blazing speed. I honestly believe I saw three of him at
one point. My wife says I need to wear my glasses, but I'd rather
believe I see three Andrews. Makes me feel safer as a coach.
We
end this review of Team Strikers with on the loveliest of notes... with
Keziah Rodriguez. Keziah had me laughing pretty good when she came off
the field in the middle of quarter three. She sat down, took a drink,
and then (with her legs crossed and a check on her hair) she informed me
that the other team was "doing a lot of talking." That was it, "they're
doing a lot of talking" as if to say, "Oh, you know how boys are coach.
I'll pay them no mind and they'll go away. Pretty funny.
Ok,
big game next week. HUGE! We play a team that is unbeaten. I know this
because Bob has been playing hookey that few weeks and scouting other
teams for us. Well that and parents from the other team came over to
tell me they were undefeated and looking to play us next week. The
audacity! Lucky for them we're good friends. Otherwise I could see
myself marking out my "personal space" Andy-style. (Cue gangnam style
music.)
So,
we need several things to happen this week. Rest the players. Buy some
brass knuckles (I believe Dick's has them in children's sizes), and send
the Hellers every text, email, beeper call, and Morse-code message you
can to have them let Sam come and play with us. Please do not call them
directly, that would be rude.
OK,
I'm off to celebrate my 43 anniversary with my lovely wife. I know, I
know. I look old but not THAT old. Well my wife and I don't celebrate
the chronological time of our anniversary. We celebrate how long it
feels to us. 43 and counting.October 5, 2013
Well, what a surprise I had this Saturday afternoon. Who'd have expected the League to methodically strike through so much of my content. The redacted copy is preserved below for future generations of coaches to see and wonder if volunteering is really worth the effort.
First though, the NON-Redacted or original copy you were meant to get.
NON- Redacted Copy
Document Item:
5-R.L.J.-WHVC & BIGPIA
Date: 5, October 2013
Longitude & Latitude / Attitude: 41.7678° N, 72.7539° W/ smart-donkey
Military Time: 15:21:01 EST
Date: 5, October 2013
Longitude & Latitude / Attitude: 41.7678° N, 72.7539° W/ smart-donkey
Military Time: 15:21:01 EST
Members in Attendance:
Board of Directors
Officers
|
Name
|
|
President
|
Mario Gilardini
|
|
Executive Co-Vice
President
|
Ed Perkins
|
|
Executive Co-Vice
President
|
David Heintz
|
|
Treasurer
|
Ethan Goldman
|
|
Equipment Supervisor
|
Jeff Wittstein
|
|
Senior Division
Supervisor
|
David Heintz
|
|
Junior Division
Supervisor
|
Marc Champagne
|
|
Mites Division Supervisor
|
Jennifer Trent
|
|
Training Division
Supervisor
|
Carolyn Martindale
|
|
Travel Division
Co-Supervisor
|
John Monnes
|
|
Travel Division
Co-Supervisor
|
Steve Stokoe
|
|
Referee Supervisor
|
Mario Gilardini
|
|
Corporation Secretary
|
Dean Cordiano
|
|
Publicist
|
Jonathan Blaine
|
|
Webmaster
|
Ed Espinal
|
Hello Strikers Parents, Relatives, Family Pets, Friends, Friends
of Friends, and ever-watchful West Hartford Youth Soccer Board of Directors!
A Matter of Perspective.
Perspective is both important and, as I’ll demonstrate,
highly subjective.
From the WHYSA standpoint, our zero-zero draw was about as
perfect as it can get. It truly was “the beautiful game”.
Zero-zero meant that a modest
amount of cheering was allowed to occur, with no one side ever reaching a
frenzied period of celebration. Zero-zero
also meant that none of the spectators were able to leave the field feeling overly-satisfied,
one might even say, smug. Instead, parents and coaches left the field with that
perfect balance of bewilderment and semi-satisfaction.
This is the soccer sweet spot for WHYSA because it’s the
point where parents have to walk away smiling and nodding politely to each
other, and then somehow wait until they’ve reached the privacy of their cars before
beginning their one-sided conversation to their captive children about how they’d
actually won the game. “Could the
refereeing be any more terrible? I mean who in their right minds would entrust
games as important as these to high school kids? Kids! You know, honey, you’d
have easily won if your coach had a
clue -a tiny sliver of a clue- as to what he was doing. He thinks because he
yells all game he’s a good coach. Well, your father yells all day and I hardly
listen to him at all. Oh honey, your talent is being wasted on this team. I
might have to Tweet your ‘coach’ and tell him in 140 characters or less to stop
subbing for you, let you roam the field as you will, and provide additional
private lessons that build on your precious gifts. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Where’s
my phone? -Oh, and did you see the sky? It was silver-gray, almost Atlantic
Shoreline gray, just like the soccer ball. How are we supposed to play in those
dreadful conditions? No wonder no one scored. Would it have been that hard to use a different colored
ball? Say, Sunflower-yellow or Blueback off-white, or own of the other Town
Council approved contrast colors? Next year, Mommy is going to petition the
league for multiple colored balls to work in contrast to every potential shade
of sky. I swear…” And on it goes, dependent upon how far from the field one
lives.
From the Strikers standpoint, which includes, of course,
parents, coaches, kids, sponsors, and a burgeoning Twitter following, the “beautiful
game” ended up with a black eye.
Who wants to rise early on an overcast Saturday, deal with wet
feet, watch a mad strangle of bodies stay locked in the middle of field, and have
nothing to Tweet or even Facebook about? And that was only the coaches’ side of
things. Coach Roach (trademark in limbo because of the government shutdown) and
I watched as parent after parent, on both sides of the field, looked to the
skies for Divine intervention when their phones died because they’d kept them
running so long waiting to report something, anything. Anything that is but
zero-zero. Zero-zero means nothing, announcing zero-zero is the quickest way to
lose followers. Seriously, post that you were at a game that ended zero-zero
and you can watch your Klout score drop faster than the market these days.
So, the events of the game will have to stick with us, the
same way a Charleston Chew sticks to your teeth or Ruby to your hip,
uncomfortably and for a good long while.
See? All things really are about perspective.
Now, because the WHYSA doesn’t report the games, it’s left
to me and my highly-questionable perspective to do so. History abhors a vacuum –even
if it must record that nothing worth knowing happened. If you need to clean
your house, mow the lawn, or deal with your in-laws, now would be the time to
do this. Only the biggest of martyrs will want to keep reading about a game in
which nothing occurred.
The Strikers met team Mavericks on overcast Saturday
morning.
Team Strikers began the game quickly, flashing about the
field like hot metal flecks in their silver-colored uniforms. The problem was that
their silver uniforms were pretty darned close in color to the sea-spray green
jerseys that Team Mavericks wore. (I’m embarrassed
to admit that I really don’t know if they wore sea-spray green or sea-foam
green. I know, I know. I live in West Hartford; I should know the difference! My
wife keeps threatening me with a color-pallete intervention if I don’t start
showing I know this stuff. In any event…) As if having two near identical
colors traipsing up and down the field wasn’t confusion enough, we (read as: the
other coaches) decided we’d add even more bodies to the mix. Why play a muddled
mess of 6 on 6 when you can play 7 on 7 and ensure that the ball never leaves
the center circle? I mean, what fun, right?!?
I exaggerate, of course, because on a few occasions the colossal
clump known as our children did untangle juuuusssssst enough for a player to
move toward the hoped for end of the field. Landon L. -I think, hard to tell
with the jersey colors- flushed himself free for several hard strikes on goal. If
the opposing goalie, who in the first quarter wore the exact same jersey as his
teammates (no lie), didn’t stop the shot, the clearly-paid-off post did. I’d
never have guessed in a lifetime of guesses that a post measuring an inch
across and nearly entirely round could be hit so squarely not once, not twice,
but thrice! I’ll go to bed tonight with that metal pinging sound running though
my head –ping, ping! –PING! Well that and images of our wonderful, accepting,
wholesome, salt-of-the-Earth moms losing it when a well-meaning coach from the
opposing team tried to provide some direction to his players from behind the
net. I never understood the term bloodlust, not really, until that moment. But
hey, I get it. Who was he to even think to provide some direction to his wide-eyed,
9-year-old goalie? The kid should know what to do by now in his soccer career.
And, if he doesn’t, well that’s just too bad. (BTW, the coach was really, truly
apologetic about what’d happened. Really. He felt terrible. I of course did my
part and told him, “Dude, step away from me -like right now If my parents even think I’m engaging you in a conciliatory
way, I don’t leave here alive. Go. NOW!” Or something like that.)
Griffin P also had his share of near-miss shots. When he
finally pounded one straight on net, well wouldn’t you know it, the goalie was
standing right in the way. He wasn’t ready for it or anything, but that doesn’t
mean a thing at this level, because the ball always seems to ricochet away on
contact. Actually, it got so hard to watch our close calls that I turned to
Coach Roach (trademark in limbo because of government shutdown) and lamented
how all would have been different if we’d only moved the posts one inch this
way or an inch that way. We’ll be petitioning the League first thing Monday on
this matter, building our case that we should have two goals credited to us
because in fact, we’d set our net up an inch off center. Don’t worry. I’m sending Bob in to appeal. I
know my name is mud.
Well, when our hearts weren’t being ripped from our chest
cavities and being slammed against the Goalposts of Cruelty, we managed to do
some good things. Kevin R. (quietly
pleased by the government shutdown which is providing him and his team of
lawyers time to plan his infringement suit against his dad) Kavin H., and Tommy
D. were absolute rocks on defense. Team Mavericks, kept trying to score on us
and could not. Frankly I’m shocked the League lets them keep the name Mavericks
as it’s synonymous with being non-conformists; and further, as their name implies,
rather than playing the game strictly to a 0-0 draw, they kept trying to score.
Also in the mix as a defensive stalwart was Andy Z whose economical movement
confounded the path of the ball by opposing players.
Ryan W. played several positions in the game, easily moving
from middle, to goalie, to fullback, and striker. You can’t ask any more of a
player. (Ryan’s birthday is tomorrow. He turns 9. Bob and I learned this amid
scrambling to send in subs. See? The kids don’t care about the score. They care
about their birthday. And who can blame them?) Andrew M, who was so prepared
for the game that he came to it with his shirt pre-dirtied, did his usual: he
looked like a natural in net, playing high in the box and seriously scaring off
one opponent’s shot in the first half. Because Andrew was up top, our opponent
was forced to either kick right to him or try to take a hard angle past Andrew.
He chose the latter and the ball went well-wide. That’s advanced goalie stuff.
Beau B took his turn in the shirt-beyond-the-knees look and
saw all of one “shot” come his way.
Clearly bored, he held onto the ball for a few minutes before punting it away.
Clearly he suspected it t’weren’t coming his way ever again.
Offensively, we did the best we could while battlin’ the Colossal
Clump. Kesiah R, sporting a fashionable Lilly-white headband (Did I get that
right? I wanted to say it was Styro-foam white but that doesn’t seem like a WH
color), played wonderful heads up soccer, running into openings, tracing after
loose kicks, and working to pull the ball into her command position at all
times. Unfortunately, Team Strikers never quite capitalized on things.
In all seriousness, may have been one of the most fun draws
I’ve ever watched. The team really was defensively solid. We witnessed
unbelievable hustle on every play and the kids clamped down on the Maverick’s
throw-ins. You can literally see the kids playing more like a team each week.
Good stuff. Both sides had a lot to be proud of.
Now… pretending I’m in my car and you all just happen to be
in the back seat of my car right now, I want to say, privately, “We won the
game.”
Redacted Copy
Document Item:
5-R.L.J.-WHVC & BIGPIA
Date: 5, October 2013
Longitude & Latitude / Attitude: 41.7678° N, 72.7539° W/ smart-donkey
Military Time: 15:21:01 EST
Members in Attendance:
Date: 5, October 2013
Longitude & Latitude / Attitude: 41.7678° N, 72.7539° W/ smart-donkey
Military Time: 15:21:01 EST
Members in Attendance:
Board of Directors
Officers
|
Name
|
|
President
|
Mario Gilardini
|
|
Executive Co-Vice President
|
Ed Perkins
|
|
Executive Co-Vice President
|
David Heintz
|
|
Treasurer
|
Ethan Goldman
|
|
Equipment Supervisor
|
Jeff Wittstein
|
|
Senior Division Supervisor
|
David Heintz
|
|
Junior Division Supervisor
|
Marc Champagne
|
|
Mites Division Supervisor
|
Jennifer Trent
|
|
Training Division Supervisor
|
Carolyn Martindale
|
|
Travel Division Co-Supervisor
|
John Monnes
|
|
Travel Division Co-Supervisor
|
Steve Stokoe
|
|
Referee Supervisor
|
Mario Gilardini
|
|
Corporation Secretary
|
Dean Cordiano
|
|
Publicist
|
Jonathan Blaine
|
|
Webmaster
|
Ed Espinal
|
Hello Strikers Parents, Relatives, Family Pets, Friends, Friends of Friends, and ever-watchful West Hartford Youth Soccer Board of Directors!
A Matter of Perspective.
Perspective is both important and, as I’ll demonstrate, highly subjective.
From the WHYSA standpoint, our zero-zero draw was about as perfect as it can get. It
truly was “the beautiful game”.
Zero-zero
meant that a modest amount of cheering was allowed to occur,
with no one side ever reaching a frenzied period of celebration. Zero-zero also meant that none
of the spectators were able to leave the field feeling overly-satisfied, one might even say, smug. Instead, parents and
coaches left the field with that perfect balance of bewilderment and semi-satisfaction.
This is the soccer sweet spot for WHYSA because it’s the
point where parents have to walk away smiling and nodding politely to each
other, and then somehow wait until they’ve reached the privacy of their cars before beginning their one-sided
conversation to their captive children about how they’d actually won the game. “Could the refereeing be
any more terrible? I mean who in their right minds would entrust games as
important as these to high school kids? Kids! You know, honey, you’d have easily won if your coach had a clue -a
tiny sliver of a clue- as to what he was doing. He thinks because he
yells all game he’s a good coach. Well, your father yells all day and I hardly listen to him at all. Oh
honey, your talent is being wasted on this team. I might have to Tweet your ‘coach’
and tell him in 140 characters or less to stop subbing for you, let you roam
the field as you will, and provide additional private lessons that build on
your precious gifts. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Where’s my phone? -Oh, and did
you see the sky? It was silver-gray, almost Atlantic Shoreline gray, just like
the soccer ball. How are we supposed to play in those dreadful conditions? No
wonder no one scored. Would it have been that
hard to use a different colored ball? Say, Sunflower-yellow or Blueback off-white,
or own of the other Town Council approved contrast colors? Next year, Mommy is
going to petition the league for multiple colored balls to work in contrast to
every potential shade of sky. I swear…” And on it goes, dependent upon
how far from the field one lives.
From the Strikers standpoint, which includes, of course, parents, coaches, kids,
sponsors, and a burgeoning Twitter
following, the “beautiful game” ended up with a black eye.
Who wants to rise early on an overcast
Saturday, deal with wet
feet, watch a mad strangle
of bodies stay locked
in the middle of field, and have nothing to Tweet or even Facebook about? And that was only the
coaches’ side of things. Coach Roach (trademark in limbo because of the government
shutdown) and I watched as parent after parent, on both sides of the field,
looked to the skies for Divine
intervention when their phones died because they’d kept them running so long waiting to report something, anything.
Anything that is but zero-zero.
Zero-zero means
nothing, announcing zero-zero
is the quickest way to lose followers. Seriously, post that you were at a game that ended zero-zero and you can watch
your Klout score drop
faster than the market these days.
So, the events of the game will have to stick with us, the
same way a Charleston Chew sticks
to your teeth or Ruby
to your hip, uncomfortably and for a good long while.
See? All things really are about perspective.
Now, because the WHYSA doesn’t report the games, it’s left
to me and my highly-questionable perspective to do so. History abhors a vacuum –even
if it must record that nothing worth knowing happened. If you need to clean
your house, mow the lawn, or deal with your in-laws, now would be the time to
do this. Only the biggest of martyrs will want to keep reading about a game in
which nothing occurred.
The Strikers met team Mavericks on overcast Saturday morning.
Team Strikers began the game quickly, flashing about the field like hot metal flecks in their silver-colored uniforms. The problem was that
their silver uniforms
were pretty darned
close in color to the sea-spray
green jerseys that Team Mavericks wore. (I’m embarrassed to admit that I really don’t
know if they wore sea-spray green or sea-foam green. I know, I know. I live in West Hartford; I
should know the difference! My wife keeps threatening me with a color-pallete intervention
if I don’t start showing I know this stuff. In any event…) As if having two near identical colors traipsing
up and down the field wasn’t confusion enough, we (read as: the other coaches)
decided we’d add even more bodies to the mix. Why play a muddled mess of 6 on 6 when
you can play 7 on 7 and ensure that the ball never leaves the center circle? I mean, what fun, right?!?
I exaggerate, of course, because on a few occasions the colossal clump known as our
children did untangle
juuuusssssst enough for a player to move toward the hoped for end of the field. Landon L. -I think,
hard to tell with the jersey
colors- flushed himself free for several hard strikes on goal.
If the opposing goalie,
who in the first quarter wore the exact same jersey as his teammates (no lie),
didn’t stop the shot,
the clearly-paid-off post
did. I’d never have guessed in a lifetime of guesses that a post measuring an
inch across and nearly entirely round could be hit so squarely not once, not
twice, but thrice! I’ll go to bed tonight with that metal pinging sound running though
my head –ping, ping! –PING!
Well that and images of our wonderful, accepting, wholesome, salt-of-the-Earth moms
losing it when a
well-meaning coach from the opposing team tried to provide some direction to
his players from behind the net. I never understood the term bloodlust, not really,
until that moment. But hey, I get it. Who was he to even think to provide some direction to his
wide-eyed, 9-year-old goalie? The kid should know what to do by now in his soccer career. And, if he
doesn’t, well that’s just
too bad. (BTW, the coach was really, truly apologetic about what’d
happened. Really. He felt terrible. I of course did my part and told him, “Dude, step away from me
-like right now If my parents even think I’m
engaging you in a conciliatory way, I don’t leave here alive. Go. NOW!”
Or something like that.)
Griffin P also had his share of near-miss shots. When he finally pounded one straight on net, well wouldn’t you
know it, the goalie
was standing right in the
way. He wasn’t ready for it or anything, but that doesn’t mean a thing
at this level, because the
ball always seems to ricochet away on contact. Actually, it got so hard to watch our close
calls that I turned to Coach Roach (trademark in limbo because of government
shutdown) and lamented
how all would have been
different if we’d only moved the posts one inch this way or an inch that
way. We’ll be petitioning the League first thing Monday on this matter, building
our case that we should have
two goals credited to us because in fact, we’d set our net up an inch off
center. Don’t worry. I’m sending
Bob in to appeal. I know my name is mud.
Well, when our hearts weren’t being ripped from our chest cavities and being slammed against the Goalposts of
Cruelty, we managed to do some good things. Kevin R. (quietly pleased by the government shutdown which is
providing him and his team of lawyers time to plan his infringement suit
against his dad) Kavin H., and Tommy D. were absolute rocks on defense.
Team Mavericks, kept trying
to score on us and could not. Frankly I’m shocked the League lets them keep the name Mavericks as it’s
synonymous with being non-conformists; and further, as their name implies,
rather than playing the game strictly to a 0-0 draw, they kept trying to score.
Also in the mix as a defensive stalwart was Andy Z whose economical movement confounded the path of the
ball by opposing
players.
Ryan W. played several positions in the game, easily moving
from middle, to goalie,
to fullback, and striker. You can’t ask any more of a player. (Ryan’s birthday
is tomorrow. He turns 9. Bob and I learned this amid scrambling to send in subs. See? The kids don’t
care about the score.
They care about their birthday.
And who can blame them?) Andrew M, who was so prepared for the game that
he came to it with his shirt pre-dirtied,
did his usual: he looked like a natural in net, playing high in the box and seriously scaring off one opponent’s shot in the first
half. Because Andrew was up top, our opponent was forced to either kick right to him or try to take a hard angle past Andrew.
He chose the latter and the ball went well-wide. That’s advanced goalie stuff.
Beau B took his turn in the shirt-beyond-the-knees look and
saw all of one “shot” come his way. Clearly bored, he held onto the ball for a few minutes before punting it away. Clearly he
suspected it t’weren’t coming his way ever again.
Offensively, we did the best we could while battlin’ the Colossal Clump.
Kesiah R, sporting a fashionable Lilly-white headband (Did I get that right? I wanted to say it
was Styro-foam white
but that doesn’t seem like a WH color), played wonderful heads up soccer,
running into openings, tracing after loose kicks, and working to pull the ball
into her command position
at all times. Unfortunately,
Team Strikers never quite
capitalized on things.
In all seriousness, may have been one of the most fun draws I’ve ever watched. The
team really was defensively solid. We witnessed unbelievable hustle on every
play and the kids clamped
down on the Maverick’s throw-ins. You can literally see the kids playing
more like a team each week. Good stuff. Both sides had a lot to be proud of.
Now… pretending I’m in my car and you all just happen to be
in the back seat of my car right now, I want to say, privately, “We won the game.”
September 28, 2013
We've Got Ruby
by
the.laganas@gmail.com posted 09/28/2013
Welcome
to the weirdest Strikers Report yet.
A
non-sequitur to begin: In French, the word for goal is “but”. So, if you’ve
scored a goal in France, you’re allowed to say you “kicked but.” End of
non-sequitur, but (the American version of but) keep this bit of nonsense in
the back of your head for later.
I
received notice from the League that game goals are not to be reported,
referred to, acknowledged, or even mentally kept. The joke is somewhat on them
as I can hardly recall what I ate this morning. This information, the not
keeping score information, would have been fabulous news to have had prior to
our previous game when something happened that we didn’t like. (Wish I could be
more specific, but the League forbids this.)
Getting
the news that we can’t report goals this week? Well, it really is less than
ideal.
You’re
probably wondering why that is, wondering why being unable to report the final
tally in terms of made goals for-and-against is so, so, soooo disappointing
this week. Well, my apologies, but I can’t tell you.
I
can’t even wink this to you, sign language it (probably good because I only
know a few hand signs), or innocently leave behind a coded note.
Certainly,
I’m dying to tell you of course, but I cannot. I’m not allowed. You see, this
isn’t your average ban on reporting scores. The League has established real
consequences for uttering anything about the final score. I know you think I’m
kidding, but buried way down in the fine print of the League Charter is this:
Reporting
the final score will result in all of the following reprimands against your
person:
·
a
League fine leveled against the coach, i.e. you, for reporting the outcome.
Fines can be as large as 1,250 rupies. (Normally I’d scoff at something like
this, but I don’t know the conversion rate for rupies to American dollars; so
1,250 anythings, by default, becomes beyond my means.)
·
being
stripped of your “volunteer” title as a coach and being demoted to “permanent”
coach. This means even as your sons and daughters move up the ranks, graduate
college, marry, and frolic, you will continue to coach the Mites until you
either perish or can buy your way out. (Visit Bankrate.com for the best large
loan/mortgage deals around.)
·
spending
one hour a day with the Paulus’ dog, Ruby. (Ruby is mostly a wonderful dog, but
she’s also a lot like that nosy neighbor of yours --always sticking her nose
where you absolutely don’t want it. I wish I could say where that is, but –you
got it- the League forbids this.)
In
the interest of fairness, I’ll note here and now that I was reading the fine
print without my reading glasses and it’s possible, but only just possible,
that I misread things.
And
so…
And
do, we are left to speak about all things having nothing to do with goals or
scores.
There’s
passing: Coach Roach
(TM application temporarily denied because a clerk filed it under “cockroach”.)
and I witnessed a lot of excellent passing. Kavin H. and Landon L. did more
fine-footed passing at this morning’s game than most NASCAR drivers do in a
season of racing. We were so pleased with their continual looks for lanes to
pass in that we’re seriously considering opening the doors to sponsorship.
Don’t be surprised if you see some new decals on the teams’ shorts and shirts
next week. I’m reaching out to the makers of Rainbow Loom, the Bowlers
Association of America (Strikers’ sister-club. You can get merch here:
http://www.strikers.biz. Visa, PayPal, and Talcum Powder accepted), and
Band-Aid (if you’ve seen how rusty the medical scissors are in our First Aid
kit, you’ll understand why it’s imperative we land this sponsorship.)
There’s
fancy footwork:
Griffin P. used the ball of his foot to pull the ball back to him so many
times, I began to wonder if he might actually be listening to me at practices.
But, ah, no. Not the case. “YouTube, Coach,” was what he told me. Kevin R.
(Who’s in a legal battle with his father for name infringement) made a name for
himself by running hard, putting his body into the scrum, and making it very
difficult for me to substitute anyone in for him.
There’s
Defense: Hoo-boy did
we see some stellar defense against Team Lightening, those fine kiddoes in
yellow. Ryan W. patrolled the area behind our defense, rejecting several kicks
from the Yellow Team with aplomb. Ryan is one of the few kids who can make
having a shirt go past your knees look totally boss. (Sorry, I’m a product of
the 80’s, even though I love the 70’s, man.) Tom “Don’t-Dare-Call-Me-Tommy” D.
swooped in several times to sweep away those pesky Lightening breakaways. When
he came off the field and I asked him why he kept booting the ball so hard down
the field, Tom said, “Coach, finesse work is nice in all, but my job is to
clean, as quickly as possible, the mess your coaching leaves our team in.”
There’s
positioning: Kesiah
R. and Andrew M. demonstrated a natural knack for knowing where to be when the
ball wasn’t at the end of their feet. This is a huge developmental step for any
player. Kesiah R. motored her way into striking positions several times each quarter.
One of these games, we’re going to put the ball there with her too. Then we’ll
all be able to sit back and watch her sco- WHOA! I almost wrote the wrong thing
there. That’s a no-no. Let’s just say that next time we’ll all get to see her
kick but. (See beginning of post for the double meaning. Not trying to offend
you intelligence either, because even I had to refer back to the non-sequitur
to get my meaning.) Andrew M. took his cerebral understanding of the game into
orbit too. He continually positioned himself in the best spot to defend our net
from… from… having things pass by him. Sorry, best I can do. I’m terrified of
Ruby, rupies, and permanent coaching!
Kickin
buts: Four times
Coach Roach (TM application temporarily denied because a clerk filed it under
“cockroach”.) and I watched as our Striker front line burst through a veritable
wall of yellow jerseys to strike toward the opposing net. When they got within
range of their final opponent, who’s… let’s just say -allowed to use his hands,
we kicked French but. This isn’t to take anything away from Team Lightening. As
I recall they too kicked but; and one of those was even intentional.
On
the serious side:
Fun day on the field and it had nothing to do with the score. Bob and I are
enjoying seeing the development of the kids as each game passes. Running,
running, and more running has been the order of the day and the kids have
served it up well. I was winded just watching them. (Course, maybe if I shut up
for 2 minutes, I’d breathe more easily too.) Spacing has gotten better, as has
knowing where to be and keeping one’s head up to pass. If we’re not careful, we
may end up with a squad so good the League will be forced to disassemble it in
the off-season. I liked to see them try that though. They may have rules and
common sense, but we’ve got Ruby.
September 21, 2013
A New Experience
A New Experience
by
Coach Lagana posted 09/21/2013
New
Experiences…
People
are always telling me that new experiences are great; and, because I generally
don’t like to argue with people, I nod and say, “Yeah, new experiences are
indeed great.” The thing of it is that a statement like new experiences are
great is a rather broad generalization because it suggests that every new
experience is fantastic.
Well,
this morning, I experienced something new and I’m here to tell you –new or not-
it wasn’t a great feeling.
Apparently
Team Strikers did this thing called “losing a game”.
You
see, when the other team scores more points, in this case “goals”, than your
team, it’s deemed a loss. It means you
don’t get to cheer as loudly as the other side, you don’t get to brag too much,
and the expectation is that very few player endorsements or TV contracts will
come your way.
In
essence, it’s a stinky experience.
(BTW,
I looked all of this up on Wikipedia; so I’m pretty sure it’s accurate.
Although, there was one of those yellow banners noting that part of the
explanation for how wins and losses are determined was under dispute. So, who
knows? Maybe we’ll find out, upon review, that we actually won the game. Until that time, I’ll share what I saw. Man,
this is one of those rare times I actually wish I had cataracts.)
The
game began on the wrong foot, with team blue (no name given, which is good
because I’d just be looking for ways to poke fun of it) sending a low shot into
the back of our net. Initially I believed there to be a mistake, that the
sunlight had somehow warped across my sunglasses incorrectly and provided me
with the wrong image. Coach Roach (trademark pending) pointed out that I
entirely wrong. Team Blue was in the lead. While I reached out to hold off my
extreme vertigo, Landon “Not to be confused with Donovan” L punched a low goal
of his own into the net. Suddenly the score was level, as was my balance.
That
lasted all of two minutes as BAM-BAM two more Blue Team goals found their
slippery way into our goal. We’d not even cleared the first quarter and it was
1-3. Thankfully, Bob was there. With him standing next to me, it prevented me
from falling to my knees, bursting into tears, and giving up. You see, a man
simply doesn’t do that in front of another man. Well… unless he’s been told his
wife “accidentally” threw out his favorite knock-around shirt or he’s over 45
and learned he’s a dad again. Those are the only two exceptions.
Where
was I…?
Right.
The new experience of losing a game. Yuck.
To
our young team’s credit, though down a few points, they managed to tighten some
things up to end the half. Keziah R found herself frequently cleaning up one of
her teammates gaffes, just getting enough of her foot on the ball to stop the
opponent’s attack. Keziah played admirably for her first game. Griffin P, Kevin
R, and Kavin H also stepped up their defensive postures, running into the thick
of what was a very dense Blue cloud of players.
Our
second quarter efforts produced several opportunities for us to score. Ryan W,
who played a lot of right striker, has clearly been listening during practices,
as he made repeated efforts to run up his side of the field whenever a teammate
was on the move up the middle.
In all, our Strikers ran hard enough to
tighten the game up with Landon L hitting a left-footed shot into the upper 90.
(Yeah, that’s cool soccer lingo for the top corner of the net. Try it sometime
around a bunch of soccer players and watch them stare at you in awe. Or so I
guess.) With just a better touch pass or two, the half could have easily ended
tied.
When
the second half kicked off, we looked a lot stronger. Tom D and Beau B put
their tails into high gear for a large portion of the third quarter, and with
Griffin P moving from defense to offense in bursts, we had a lot of chances
fall in front of us to score. Unfortunately, again, there was that Blue Cloud
of players clogging the middle. Team Blue seemed to have six people on the
field at times. (Bob kept telling me it wasn’t the case and that maybe I should
sit on the bench for a second and breathe a little more deeply. When he wasn’t
directing me to sit, he was grabbing me by my shoulders and yelling what should
have been obvious to me: “It’s just a game, Man! A game!”)
Speaking
of the game…
Andrew
M, for the second game, showed that he’s a true team player. He willingly took
any role I assigned to him. When I asked him to play in the net, he did. When
asked him to run more, he did. When told to kick the ball to the nearest
sideline on a goal kick, he did that very thing. How awesome is that? Next
week, I may ask him to take over coaching duties. Coach Andrew… Yeah, sounds
nice.
The
surprise play of the game however came not on the field but off of it.
Andy
Z appeared on the sidelines to start the fourth quarter. There again was a new
experience for me – a player magically appearing in the fourth quarter, fresh,
and ready to play. Coach Roach (trademark pending… you know how slow the
government is to grant anything) had a good laugh when Andy showed up, because
I did a massive double-take. My head snapped back and forth as I thought, HOLEY
MOLEY! How did I miss this kid for three quarters! Losing my own kids is one
thing…there’s a precedence for that, but someone else’s? So not cool. As if
reading my mind, Bob smiled, and allayed my worries letting me know Andy hadn’t
in fact been on the bench for three quarters. He’d just arrived. Phew.
With
some seriousness: Though we did lose, I saw some good things happening on the
field of play. There were some very fine runs to the net when we were on
offense. Ryan W really exemplified this. I also noticed that when I yelled, “To
the net!” more than a few of our children knew what they meant and acted
accordingly. Throw-ins looked MUCH better too. MUCH. “Down the line!” is another staple phrase I’m
sure you heard often. In fact, unless my voice was bouncing off the back wooded
area and is in fact a very high falsetto, I know I heard a few of the moms
giving the same advice to the players when they were on the sideline closest to
them. Spacing continues to be an issue, but it’s natural. In fact, there were
times when our spacing hurt us because Team Blue Cloud made very good Jersey
barrier impersonations. We could also benefit from learning to turn the ball
away from the center. That’s all on me though. I’ve not really taught this yet.
Some things have to be shown apparently, as my yelling isn’t enough.
Despite
the loss (still waiting on Wikipedia) I've got this feeling we're going to see
some excellent growth in this team over the next few weeks. The kids really are
trying to implement what they've been shown at practices, and we can't ask for
anything more.
We’re
scheduled for two practices this week, Thursday and Friday. Both at 5 PM. I
love seeing the kids both days whenever possible. It’s been a huge help in
developing their understanding of the game. Still, no pressure. I know everyone
is swamped with commitments.
Coach
Lagana
September 7, 2013
September 7, 2013
Striking First!
by
the.laganas@gmail.com posted 09/07/2013
After
consulting my accountant, I’ve been informed that Team Strikers is officially
1-0, winning 4-3. Better yet, because we won’t have another game for two weeks,
both the boys and the parents can brag for days about being undefeated to
family, friends, and people you just kinda wanna irk a little.
The
boys were a pleasant surprise to begin the game, planting two solid shots into
the back of the net early on. Griffin Paulus, with his cannon foot, made both
Coach Roach (trademark pending) and I look like we knew what we were doing.
But,
as they say, it’s a team sport and we certainly saw evidence of that as Kavin
Harry and Kevin Roach seemed to be in the right place at the right time
whenever Team Phoenix (the boys in red) thought they might have a lane to our
net. This made Beau Bacon’s biggest challenge trying to remain awake during the
opening quarter. Worried he would fall asleep, we decided to put Beau into the
field and let him wreak havoc on Team Red while shifting the capable Ryan West
into the vacated spot. [Side note: Ryan West defined taking one for the team
when ball met gut. BUT like a true Silver Striker he asked to return to the
game earlier than either Coach Roach (trademark pending) or I had planned
because he wanted to strike back.]
While
on the topic of guts and goalies, many manly knuckle crunches goes to Andrew
Maglio who played aggressively in net. Time and time again, Andrew played high
in the box cutting off angles for shots or forcing the opponent to shoot from
far away. Without his keen positioning, the outcome might have been something
much worse. Ryan West also gets a hat tip for rejecting two Flaming Phoenix
shots.
It’s
also possible our fine opposing coach was on the run because he needed to
figure out a way to get around another Saturday Superstar of ours, Tom “Don’t
call me Tommy” Demeo. Young Tom blended aggressive play with controlled passing
over four quarters of action. Some of that action came from fleet-of-feet
Landon Lagana who refused to let too many Flaming Phoenixes rise past him. Son
did Dad proud hustling as he did.
Proud
makes for a good, final, sentiment. I’m proud of how the boys played. I saw
plenty of things to work on of course, but I also saw as much to be pleased
about. The boys are apparently listening during practices. (Kinda hard not too,
because if I’m not blasting my voice, I’m blasting my whistle.) I saw several
fantastic give and goes, some decent instances of trying to position oneself,
and gobs of heads up dribbling, which is one of the single most important
aspects to the game. A good pass can beat the fastest runner any day of the
week.
Enjoy
the victory. I’m on my way out the door to catch our mailman. No way is he
getting his route done today. I’m got too much to tell him about the game.
Coach
Lagana
Hello Strikers Parents,
by
Ralph Lagana posted 08/31/2013
Some
items for you to know.
Top
of the list stuff:
1.
Your kids are great. It's a pleasure to coach them. Really. And, while on the
topic of great, it's been very nice to meet many of you.
2. We
have a team name for you to shout from the sidelines. We'll now be known as The
Silver Strikers! (Strikers being a term for forwards, i.e. goal scorers, in
soccer.)
3. I
am going to hold the optional practice coming up this Thursday. I know it's a
day off for the kids but I'd like to scrimmage some more prior to our 1st game.
4.
Notify me if the uniforms your child received do not fit. There's still time
for me to speak with the league about ordering more. Shoes! Glad to see that
everyone is coming with cleats. Cleats reduce the chances of an injury.
Middle
of the list stuff:
1.
The league bylaws state that every player is to be on the field for at least
two, full quarters. I'm going to do my best to see that everyone gets plenty of
playing time. The wrinkle to this is each child's individual stamina. Right
now, I have it in my head to sub a lot in order to give everyone time on the filed
and breaks to rejuvenate.
2. If
any mom, dad, grandparent, or advance pet takes a striking (heh? Strikers...
striking... you like?) image of one of our fabulous players, please email that
to me and maybe it'll make our team site online. This of course comes with the
proviso that I am able to figure out how to upload to this wonky site without
involving the NSA.
3. My
apologies for the many emails and text messages already. I wasn't sure if this
site would notify you of practices on its own, but good ole' Hal Jr. sends out
plenty of reminders all by his world-dominating self.
Rest
of the list stuff:
1.
Again, I remind. Thursdays are optional. We had 7 players for our first go-around
and it was a lot of fun.
2.
I'm learning the ropes along with the kids. I did play soccer for years, but
have never coached it. More than a few of you have seen a practice already. If
you see something that could be improved, modified, or dropped from the
regiment, then I'm all ears. My goal is to make the kids better players but not
at the expense of their enjoyment.
3.
Finally, if your son or daughter is not enjoying his or her time with our team,
don't hesitate to let me know what I can do to fix this. I'd hate to think that
someone walked away from a sport when a simple adjustment or two could have
prevented that from happening.
Enjoy
the weekend,
Coach
Lagana
Hello Parents of Team #3,
posted
08/22/2013
My
name is Ralph Lagana and I will be your son’s coach for the fast-approaching
West Hartford Youth Soccer Association season. My apologies, but this is going
to be a doozy of an email. I have difficulty going from point A to point B as
you’ll see very quickly.
First.
Yes, you’ve read that correctly. Our team name is Team #3. Apparently, this is
something that needs to be figured out prior to the start of our season, by me.
I’m already stressed about writing this email, now I have to come up with and
commit to a team name.
Just
for the sake of clarity, here’s an example of why I’m concerned about forming a
team name. My first thought was to make it something like the sarsaparilla
wisps. Now, I’ve absolutely no clue what a sarsaparilla wisp is, or looks like,
or even sounds like, but I do know that I would thoroughly enjoy listening to
you fine and highly supportive parents as you try to scream this aloud during
game conditions. Seriously, try it now.
Scream: Let’s go sarsaparilla wisps! Funny, but not without a catch, because I
quickly realized that I’d have to yell something similar as coach.
Then
I thought of using the name Winners. I mean, aren’t they all winners? And –even
if we lose game after game after game- I could remind the boys that they are
all really Winners. See my dilemma? Anyway, maybe now you understand why my
stress-o-meter idles a little high at the moment.
Most
of you probably could care less about my issues. (I’m not sure I even care
about my issues.) You want to know more important stuff like who’s going to try
and horn in on your child’s soccer spotlight. Well, here’s the competition:
Team #3’s Roster for
2013
Beau B.
Tom D.
Eashwar H.
Sam H.
Landon L.
Andy Z.
Andrew M.
Griffin P.
Kevin R
Keziah E.
Ryan W.
Other
things you want to know, or so my wife tells me, as she’s the brains:
Uniforms:
Yes, there will be uniforms. No idea on color. Hoping I don’t have to make that
decision too. Uniforms, or uni’s as they’re called in the biz, will be
distributed at the end of Friday’s practice, Aug. 30th.
Practices:
We are firm for Friday practices each week from 5-6 PM (EST, in case you travel
a lot) at King Phillip school. We have field # 12 reserved, which is weird
because last I saw KP it was one big grassy area. My guess is that I will spend
30 minutes of the first practice trying to locate field 12 of 14. (Special
Note: I have reserved Thursdays from 5-6 PM EST in addition to the Fridays for
practice; and this is for a variety of reasons, which are explained later in
this tome. Only Friday practice is mandatory.)
Full
practice schedule is online:
http://assn.la/schedule.asp?teams=283755&org=whysa.org
First
Game: Saturday, September 7th, 2013 at King Phillip on field #13. (No clue
where field #13 will be. I have to ask my wife almost every time where KP is
located. If you see a black Subaru slowly circling KP on a Saturday, please
wave me down.)
Full
schedule is below and online:
http://assn.la/schedule.asp?teams=283755&org=whysa.org
Soccer
Philosophy: No this isn’t one of those existential deals: I kick a ball
therefore I am. This is the West Hartford Youth Soccer Association’s take on
why we’re all agreeing to run like mad after school weekdays and early
Saturdays to a mysterious field 14 to watch our boys run in circles. WHYSA
(hmm… maybe I should name the team the WHYSA’s? Go WHYSAs!) is labeling this
league a skills-based league. The idea is that competition takes a back seat to
learning the sport. This is why games will be on a half field (which is good to
learn because originally I thought it was a shot at my size) and be played 6 on
6, 5 on the field and one goalie.
More
information here on WHYSA’s grand vision:
https://leagueathletics.com/Page.asp?n=66820&org=whysa.org
Two
Practices: I can appreciate that the league wants to develop the boys’ skills,
but I’m unsure how to accomplish this in a one hour window each week. This is
why I’ve reserved time for two practices each week. Partly this is because I
know that there may be days when bad weather falls on a Friday; so, two days
helps to ensure we get in at least one practice a week. Most importantly, two
practices really is the best way to help them learn the game and improve. I
know everyone has commitments and that’s fine. Thursday is optional. Only
Friday is mandatory.
Thank
you for enduring this long email. I happen to know about half of the players
and parents on this list, so it comes as no surprise to them that my email is…
well… the way it is.
For
those whom I don’t know, I apologize for the length and -what I call- my wit.
Last
items:
·
PLEASE
respond to this email. I need to know that this email reached you. If you want
messages to come to another email, YOU need to add the address online at
WHYSA.org.
·
The
league provides soccer balls, but I’d love it if the boys brought their own. I
have a plan for these. The League requires players to use a #4 sized soccer
ball. (12-13 oz. and circumference of 25-26 inches. You can weigh and measure
or just buy one like I plan to.)
·
Remember:
Friday practices are mandatory, 5-6 PM EST at KP. Thursdays are optional. No
uniforms worn during practice.
·
Kids
should bring plenty of water. No juice is necessary. Water is just fine.
·
If
there are any medical concerns I need to know of, please email me. (
the.laganas@gmail.com )
·
Conflicts
of schedule are best shared ASAP. This will help me a great deal.
More
to come…
Go
Wisps!
Go
WHYSA’s!
Go
Winners!
Go
TEAM #3!

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